Shaun Proulx Recalls The Best Booty Call Ever

Actress Joan Collins attends "The Time of Their Lives" photocall at the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 18, 2014 in Cannes, France.

Actress Joan Collins attends "The Time of Their Lives" photocall at the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 18, 2014 in Cannes, France.

Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images

The Shaun Proulx Show is heard Saturdays at 3 pm and 8 pm EST and Sundays 4 pm EST on SiriusXM Canada Talks 167.

May I share the details of the best booty call I have ever had? It was so good I didn’t even take my clothes off.

There I was, lounging in my silk pyjamas, all Joan Collins on a recent Monday night. It was one of those early-to-PJ days; I had every intention of hitting the sack, Patrick, my husband and I were watching TV and – as I do when the commercials come on because they drive me crazy – I popped onto social media.

And there he was. Man among men. Gray. Not skin tone, Christian name: Gray.

I had not seen Gray in person for over two decades. When we connected on social media sometime last year, I was thrilled. Thrilled because it had been since high school since we were in each other’s orbit, but also thrilled because since high school he’s become even hotter than he was in high school, back when I had a large gay crush on him I had to keep to myself.

From time to time since the Facebook re-connect there’s a fun note that comes my way or quip or exchange between us, but fast forward to this fateful Monday night and there I am full Joan Collins, exhausted, frankly, so ready for an early night when what do I see but Gray has not only messaged me – but he’s in my city: Toronto! And not only is he in my city but he’s staying over night at a place FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM MINE.

But I had only just said to my husband I was going to pack it in and go to sleep. Truly, I was more exhausted than Kim Kardashian’s seamstress.

Horns of a dilemma.

Maybe Gray’s in town for a few days, I thought. Maybe it doesn’t have to be tonight.

We continued to message.

Nope. Now or never.

Off came the PJs, on went the jeans and a low V neck tee shirt (to show off just an enticing hint of man boob), and into a cab I climbed.

I got to where Gray was staying. Gray had barely opened the door when I was inside the foyer and in his arms. We instantly locked into a passionate embrace, the flames that had dimmed for two decades suddenly reignited – like a bomb blast – and we collapsed to the floor and made sweet, bitter love.

Okay, I fantasize. Gray is straight, married with two sons but let a guy dream. Truth of the matter is he was not even alone. He was staying with Sven, with whom I also went to high school; we gathered around a table with Sven’s lovely girlfriend and drank beer and laughed for a couple of hours

And on only one occasion during those two hours – one – did I offer Gray a little lovin’ in his betty crocker oven – but only one time.

Anyway, wow. What a friggen blast to see a wonderful person from my not so wonderful years of high school after all this time.

There’s nothing like a visit from the past to hype up all you’ve become now; I fairly floated as I walked home. Also, all that beer probably helped.

The broader point to sharing this being of course, is the next time YOU are feeling like I was – done with the day in a big way – and an opportunity comes your way, yes that thing, anyway.

There was no sex involved that night, but my visit with an old friend was a different kind of booty call, one that keeps on giving.

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