I want to have a heart to heart with all the ladies reading this right now, particularly if you are a lady who is a celebrity with a gay fan base, or if you are a lady who just loves gay men, please consider what I’m about to say.
I thought to say what I’m about to say while watching The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills; I am addicted to the whole franchise – it’s like smoking pot without smoking pot. My eyes glaze over and I forget all things, staring at the screen, unable to move. So lovely after a hard day – and I don’t get the munchies.
Luscious lipped Lisa Rinna is on the show this season, and the optimistic hustler in me totally recognizes the optimistic hustler in her.
One of the other housewives is having a gay mixer, and her invitation tells invitees to bring their tops and bottoms, a not-that-coy reference into the world of gay sex. Lisa Rinna didn’t get the reference however, and in trying to figure it out on camera ended up flustered and said: “I apologize to my gays!”
It seems to my ears that these days a lot of celebrities – Kathy Griffin, Lady Gaga come right to mind – like to refer to their homosexual fans as “my gays” and, as is the tendency, what celebrities do in this day and age trickles into the mainstream. I hear non-celeb girls refer to their male homosexual friends as “my gays” a lot.
Here’s the thing, ladies who say “my gays” – at least as far as I’m concerned: Just because I like penis, just because I like man butt, just because I like men, doesn’t make me your possession or your accessory.
I know “my gays” comes from a place of fond love, but there is something so condescending verging on insulting about it. I don’t think I could get away with talking about “my blacks” or “my breeders” all that easily. I know black people wouldn’t appreciate the possessive within the term of endearment, and I don’t think straight people would like being lumped in with all other straight people (if only because there are a lot of undesirable straight people out there and trust me, there are a lot of undesirable gay people out there I don’t want to be lumped in with).
And I’m not a possession. Except with this one guy – oy! – but I digress.
There just has to be a better way to express your love ladies, be you celebrity or everyday woman. You sound silly when you say it, and like I said, it’s a tad cringe-worthy to hear.
Most of all though, the expression “my gays” is super antiquated now. If you use it, you just sound busted, not fresh.
And trust me, when it comes to you being at your best, your gays would want you to know.