Do not open until 2219: Making the perfect NHL time capsule

PHILADELPHIA, PA - APRIL 28: Gritty, the mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers entertains during a game between the Philadelphia Phillies and Miami Marlins at Citizens Bank Park on April 28, 2019 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Mascots from around Philadelphia were at the game to honor the 41st birthday of the Phillie Phanatic. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

With an off-day in the 2019 Stanley Cup Final last week, the staff at Under Review elected to also put our feet up. Trouble was, 10 am Pacific rolled around, and we still needed to do a radio show.

One can only talk about two teams (Blues and Bruins) for so long, and keeping in mind people representing all 31 fans bases listen to the show, well, we needed a topic that would resonate with the entire crowd.

Peter Berce kicked around a few potential topics until it dawned on us. Let’s do them all at once! Smash them together. And before you know it, we had our Stanley Cup Final off-day topic.

Which hockey-related things would you place in an NHL Time Capsule; one that wouldn’t be opened until 2219…or when the Buffalo Sabres won the Stanley Cup?

Those holy hockey relics would represent how you felt about this game, and the answers from listeners were highly creative. Never ever believe that hockey doesn’t have the same colourful history as other sports…

Peter Berce – Butch Goring’s helmet, Wayne Gretzky 99 home white sweater circa the mid-1980s, Mario Lemieux’s Penguins’ sweater from the night in 1988 he scored 5 goals in 5 different ways, a copy of the film Slap Shot (on DVD, VHS, Beta, Laserdisc, and 35 mm print)…and Gritty.

Mick Kern – California Seals’ white skates, a yellow jersey that the replacement referee wore in 1988 in the aftermath of “Have Another Donut,” Stan Mikita banana blade stick, the waffles that the disgruntled Toronto Maple Leafs’ fan threw on the ice a few years ago, a verified copy of The Hockey Code…and Lanny McDonald’s mustache.

Chris in K.C. – Northlands’ wooden stick signed by the Kansas City Scouts

Joe in St. Louis – Jacques Plante’s first goaltender mask

Mark in Idaho – Marty McSorley’s illegal stick from the 1993 Stanley Cup Final

Mark in Connecticut – Garth Snow’s goaltending equipment

Alex in St. Louis – Easton 2 piece Z-bubble stick

David in New York – mp3 call of 1994 Stephane Matteau overtime goal

Tyler in Chicago – Chicago Blackhawks’ signed 2010 towel

Mike in St. Louis – the shoe that Mike Milbury used to beat a fan back on December 23rd, 1979

Kevin in New Jersey – Don Cherry’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em DVD collection

Mike in L.A. – New York Post with 1994 Mark Messier Guarantee

Sean in St. Louis – Don Cherry’s most outlandish suit & a Jofa hockey helmet

Corey in Edmonton – Stompin’ Tom Connors’ “The Hockey Song”

Carl in Pittsburgh – Noel Picard’s stick, the one that tripped up Bobby Orr on May 10th, 1970

Ron in Pittsburgh – Jaromir Jagr’s mullet

Cole in New Jersey – Hanson brothers glasses from Slap Shot

Chris in Stillwater, Minnesota – glass eye of Glen Sonmor

Tony in Newfoundland – Titan hockey stick

Andy in Northern Virginia – NHL ’93 Sega Genesis game & copy of the film Swingers

Travis in British Columbia – Wes McCauley

Dean in Illinois – Cooperalls

Lianne Lynch & Keith Bell – the white towel that Vancouver Canuck’s head coach Roger Neilson hoisted up on a stick during the 1982 playoffs

Aaron Beaudry – Ron Hextall’s stick that he used to slash Kent Nilsson in the 1987 playoffs

Todd Cadorette – Ron Duguay’s hair

Hockey Fan 🙂 – Patrick Roy’s two Stanley Cup rings he had in his ears & audio of John Tortorella’s press conferences

J.P. Giuliotti – the DNA of Gordie Howe, Bobby Orr & Wayne Gretzky

Kurtis Saenz – Denver Post newspaper with “Mission Accomplished” & Ray Bourque

Hockey Art Mom – a seat from the Montreal Forum, a video clip of Patrick Roy winking at Tomas Sandstrom in the 1993 Stanley Cup Final & the 1972 Summit Series on vinyl

Collin Farrow – Tie Domi’s water bottle from the time the Flyers’ fan (Chris Falcone) fell into the penalty box with Domi

Joe – The puck that practically nobody saw enter the net when Patrick Kane scored in OT to win the Stanley Cup in 2010 for the Chicago Blackhawks

Karl Krekeler – the rat Scott Mellanby killed in the Florida Panthers dressing room during the 1995-96 season

emeraldcityhockey – Arthurs Irbe’s helmet, Kerry Fraser’s hair, and Paul Cavallini’s fingertip

Curt – SiriusXM NHL Network Radio (for Gritty to listen to while hanging out in the Time Capsule)

Matt Conlon – the net from when Martin Brodeur broke the all-time wins record for goalies

barley pops – the skates Scotty Bowman wore in 2002 when he hoisted the Stanley Cup

NYR Alumni Reports – The Brass Bonanza

Shaun Gentilis – 1980 USA Olympic Team sweater

John Richards – Gilles Gratton’s tiger goalie mask

Mike Oxbigg – “That’s Hockey Baby” mp3 by John Forslund

Nate Smith – the entire 1983 St. Louis Blues’ draft class

the Philluminati – the plexiglass that separated Patrick Roy & Bruce Boudreau

Brandon Keller – the stick that Bobby Ryan stole from a defending player, and scored a goal with

James Felker – the sticks Ron Hextall scored his goals with

Curt – the Calgary Flames’ fire snorting horse

Matt – Blades of Steel (Nintendo) 8-bit video game

Joe Paw – Gloves from Tiger Williams. They ought to be in good shape from having been dropped so often. Failing that, get Dave Schultz’s

Markus Johansson – video of the Marek Malik shootout goal from 2005

CaniacJerk_Coleman – a Bunch of Jerks t-shirts (Gritty might want to wear something different)

Larry Zeigler – Duncan Keith’s teeth from 2010 playoffs

John Rymarczyk Jr. – the bat that Jim Lorenz batted down during the 1975 Stanley Cup Final

Brad Wynes – The stick from when Wayne Gretzky scored his 50th goal in 39 games (Dec. 81)